First Level Leadership

Conflict Management Tool Kit

Conflict Management: Learn the skill to disarm situations.

How many of us have heard folklores which impart a lesson to us?   Two brothers, who did not want to share the last chocolate pie in the house, fought with each other to have a bigger piece of the pie. The mother's conflict management skills were put to test. She intervened and suggested that they cut it into half and share it equally, but they both refused. Now the mother was in a fix.  Since the conflict could not be resolved,

the father got involved. Giving the knife to the elder brother, he said “You cut the pie into half," and then he looked at the other son, “You get to pick your half first.” You never saw such careful cutting in your life.

Both kids became involved in solving the problem and decision making

and the solution was Even Steven- an approach to conflict management in which people could work things out for the benefit of everyone.

Remember, even Steven is only going to put a lid on the conflict

for a short time. If each person believes that the whole pie is rightfully his or her, then splitting it will not thrill anybody. What do you think will happen next time when there is a shortage of pies? Sometimes when there is only one pie, the best solution is to make it even bigger.

There is an all pervasive condition all around us

What is this complex phenomenon of human interactions called ''conflict''? As the pace of life continues to accelerate, the opportunities for conflict exponentially multiply.

Get mad, Get even, and Get over it

You will agree that, conflict is an inescapable part of  our life. Anyone who has a highly competitive life style, learning how to deal with conflicts effectively is an increasingly essential life skill. You need it regardless of your age, social role, profession or cultural background.

However, what are you doing,

to learn to disarm and diffuse confrontational situations? One cannot work effectively with others with clenched fists. I am sure you would agree that we spend far more energies and resources in developing our technologies than we spend in developing our people.

Keep in mind that adopting new methods to resolving conflict

means learning, and learning means change, it means change in how you think and how you act. It involves altering your mental processes, expanding and adapting your behavior and reviewing your habits. Are you ready to do that and build your conflict management skills?

If yes, get ready to

devote some time and energy in developing effective resolution skills. Conflict is all around us. It is not something we choose to have or not have, it just is. It may center on something as seemingly trivial as who leaves that dirty socks on the floor, whether to go for a movie or whether to invest in a training seminar; or it may be more complicated such as the future of handicapped children.

The key is not whether you have conflict,

rather it is how you deal with it. This section represents the collected wisdom of many participants that I have worked with through the years. I do not wish to give you a volume of theory; you can use this information, repeatedly, as a guide to improve conflict resolution and relationship building skills.

My aim is not just about avoiding conflict,

avoiding is not only impossible but also undesirable. My aim is to help you discover productive ways of handling conflict. I will discuss a range of skills.

These skills are like tools

We pull one or more out of a kit to suit a particular conflict. They reset, sit in the kit ready to be used again. Just as tools can be used in many situations, so too can these skills.

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