First Level Leadership

How Can You Build Interpersonal Skills?

Enhance your interpersonal skills by reading this section.

Why did the Clerk want my contact details?

Recently I visited my bank to cash a cheque, which had my contact details stamped on it. I have used this chequebook on many occasions at the same bank. However, strangely enough, this time the clerk asked me to fill in my contact details and other necessary information from my identity card.  

He did not cease to importune 

me for the information. I explained to him that the required information was already on the cheque leaf. However, he asserted that I must write the information at the back of the cheque, in order for it to be accepted by the computer.  

I continued to insist

that I have enchased cheques many times before, but have never filled out the information at the back of the cheque. Now he abandoned all the niceties and said,

"Either fill in the information or you will not be able to cash your cheque.”

When I hark back, 

I keep on thinking about what had occurred at the bank. We exchanged partial meaning through the conversation, but disagreement was throughout…

May be we had two mutually exclusive goals, 

and did not have a common understanding of the situation. Or was it a case of lack of interpersonal communication. Well, there is no clear answer to it.

This actually leads me to bring up this question - Can we increase our interpersonal communication competence?

In this section, I will offer 

you some useful information that will help you to understand and analyze interpersonal skills. This knowledge will help you to synthesize your understanding and allow you to activate your own interpersonal skills.

You will deliberate on basic building blocks 

of effective interpersonal communication. We live in an ever-changing world of technology, but the psychology of humans remains the same. Therefore, human relations skills are much more important than technical skills, especially if you want to become a senior manager or an effective leader. 

Coming back to the fundamental question 

Can you increase your interpersonal communication competence? Many feel that it is difficult to teach, learn and investigate interpersonal communication systematically. On the other end of the spectrum, there are many who have assumed that interpersonal skills can be easily taught. Best sellers including “Body language," "Read a person like a book," "I am Ok - You are Ok," etc. have gained recognition as a self-help books.

However, I have a difference of opinion… 

You can learn, examine and teach interpersonal communication, but you cannot learn interpersonal communications in just a few easy lessons.

Some trainers, consultants and gurus 

suggest that instant gratification is available through their workshops or programs; I humbly beg to differ. Our modern life-style has provided us with quick and easy systems, which have resulted in short cuts; but short cuts are short lived. Interpersonal skills that are only designed to last until the weekend will leave us with a feeling of frustration and limited success.

To become more successful requires 

a degree of commitment to learning various communication skills, including cross-cultural understanding, listening skills, active listening skills and to some extent the adult learning principles as well.

Finally, you must recognize 

that your understanding of the theory and practice of effective interpersonal communication may not always result in the desired outcome, but a sincere attempt will lead you closer towards your desired outcomes.

Interpersonal communication by its very nature involves 

other people who have conflicting goals or perspectives. The complexity of different cultures adds another layer of challenge. The different relationships that we establish, and the forms these relationships take can be very confusing. However, continuous learning and right practice will lead you towards greater competence.

Happy exploring!  

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