First Level Leadership Blog

Do you use reason or emotions?

When making decisions, people believe that they use reason rather than emotions.

Most people think that the statements they make and the acts they perform are based on logic and forethought. However, studies convey that 80% of decisions are based on emotions and 20% on reasons. People often take decisions with emotions, and then use logic to justify their actions.

If that is true, then, as a leader, what does it mean to you? – You need to connect emotionally with people to influence them. They will then align with you and lean towards you as plants lean towards the sun.

Something to think about?

When the surge of temper subsides, you will have regrets; then, you will be in a position to see your own signature

Do you have a personal anger management policy in place? How many times did you lose your temper recently? Can you retrace your steps and identify the underlying reasons for your behavior?

I am sure you must be going through your periodic cycles of visible or invisible outbursts of frustration

How do you resist the urge to explode? Well these are simple questions but difficult to answer. Today, I am going to give you to overcome the challenges posed by loss of temper.

Before learning anger management, lets find out – What is loss of temper?

It is an emotional disturbance, which seeks vindication and retaliation. It takes an immense toll on your confidence, friendship and peace of mind. Loss of temper is an indication of weakness, which conveys that you are incapable of containing yourself.

Loss of temper or a lack of anger management is an announcement of your inadequacy and feelings of inferiority. It results in a temporary derangement that sweeps everything else aside.

What are the losses that you might overlook?

Research has shown that there is a direct impact upon your nervous system, endocrine glands, heart and liver when you get angry.

But how does anger impact these organs?

When you get angry, your body produces excess acids and adrenalin, which is poured into the blood stream. This puts extra strain on your vital organs.

What else happens during anger?

There is an emotional disturbance, which results in an uncontrollable urge to strike back or to retaliate at any cost.

This is usually followed by

a sense of guilt or self-condemnation when the surge of temper has subsided.

Finally,

there is a rift between you and the other party. It is usually very hard to mend such a rift.

So how can you overcome these challenges?

If you are plagued by this habit and wish to get rid of it, then here are some guidelines:

¨      Know the root cause of your outburst; do not try to justify yourself or find excuses for your reaction.

¨      Put yourself on test and work consciously to disperse every provocation of anger.

¨      Ask your friends/spouse to raise the danger signal when you fail to notice the signs yourself.

¨      Visualize and repeat to yourself that loss of temper is a sign of weakness, is a condition of immaturity, and is the mark of irresponsibility.

¨      Look for extenuating circumstances whenever you want to accuse, to condemn, or to speak your mind freely.

There is an another technique

When you are in the grip of anger, try to clamp your lips tight, sit down and lean back in your seat, anchor your hands in your pockets and your feet to the floor and let the waves of temper pass over you.

No doubt, the wish to assert yourself may be strong, but a display of bad temper is not a good idea.

Remember: You are more likely to get angry when you are feeling sad or dejected. Similarly, you are less likely to take offence when you are happy and in high spirits.

Do not let your temper rule you. Retain control over your emotions, and you will surely add to your happiness and productivity.

1.    Managing?
2.    Instructing?
3.    Training?
4.    Mentoring?
5.    Counseling?

An appreciation of differences helps us to position coaching as an appropriate intervention as and when required. Here is a snapshot of all the workplace development in their elementary form:

Managing: ‘Do this’
Instructing: ‘Here’s how to do this.’
Training: ‘Try doing doing this’
Mentoring: My advice is…
Counseling: What feelings does this invoke?
Coaching: How do you think you could…?

Pavlov used a bell to make dogs salivate in the hopeful anticipation of a meal. The emails and the incoming chimes have made us no different from the Pavlov’s dog. Every incoming mail has conditioned many of us to drop what we are doing and run after it. This habit creates discontinuity in the process of work and thought, thereby making us less efficient.

Simply turn off the chime and check your mails at appropriate intervals. Doing this will considerably cut down on your self-created interruptions, and hence increase your productivity.